Pope Francis meets with transgender, intersex and ally Catholics

During the last two years, New Ways Ministry, the organization I co-founded to reconcile LGBTQ+ Catholics and the institutional Church, sponsored meetings for some U.S. bishops to discuss LGBTQ+ topics with theologians, medical professionals, pastoral ministers and LGBTQ+ people. In September, I asked Pope Francis if he would like to meet some of these people, and he enthusiastically said “Yes!”

On Oct. 12, we sat with Pope Francis at Casa Santa Marta at the Vatican for 90 minutes as he listened intently to five people sharing their personal stories.

Born with ambiguous genitalia, Nicole Santamaria was raised as a boy but always knew she was a girl. As an intersex woman, she was beaten and left for dead in El Salvador. Her life changed when a Jesuit priest told her that “angels are neither male nor female; they serve and praise God through their acts of helping humans. Every time someone says something hurtful to you, remember that you are like an angel. You have a mission in this world, to praise and serve God and your neighbor.” His words remained in her heart, and she is fulfilling that mission by identifying with those who feel excluded or violated.

Michael Sennett, a transgender man, spent his 17th birthday in a psychiatric ward after attempting suicide. After he left the hospital, he fortunately encountered a priest in Confession who told him, “You don’t need to repent for who God created you to be. Denying who you are would be the tragedy.” Michael told Pope Francis, “When I take my weekly testosterone, I end with a prayer of gratitude to God for the blessing of hormone replacement therapy. … I have not interfered with God’s plan for creation. I have simply become more fully the person God created me to be.”

Deacon Ray Dever and his wife Laurie are the parents of a transgender daughter whose difficult transition led to three suicide attempts. “We have learned that there simply is no connection between gender theory and transgender people. This clearly is not a personal choice or the result of some ideology,” they said. The deacon vehemently added that he was struck by “the stunning lack of compassion for transgender people within so much of the Church.” As these parents spoke, Pope Francis gazed intently at the family picture they gave him. He clutched his pectoral cross and, with deep sorrow in his voice, said that priests should always speak of God’s love and mercy in Confession and outside of Confession.

Cynthia Herrick, co-director of a gender medicine clinic, told the group, “Just as we do not choose to be right- or left-handed, we do not choose our gender. … How we understand our gender is determined by specialized areas within our brain.” One’s gender may or may not correspond to one’s genitalia. She cited a recent U.S. survey in which 81 percent of respondents said they recognized that their gender was different from the sex on their birth certificate before the age of 16, but only one in five told someone at the time. “They were afraid to come out as transgender in their youth,” she said, adding that “genderaffirming surgeries have a profound impact on people’s well-being.”

Pope Francis listened to these stories with very pained looks when people described moments of suffering but appeared very pleased when he heard the stories of redemption and the positive impact of gender transition. He kept repeating that we, meaning the Church, “have to think of the individual person.”

I asked the pope to urge the Vatican to rethink its stance on gender. While the Vatican declaration “Dignitas Infinita,” released in April 2024, emphasized that the Church treat all people with dignity and respect, it also condemned medical care for transgender people who transition. Pope Francis and the Vatican dicastery need to hear directly from transgender and intersex Catholics and those who support them.

This was my second meeting with Pope Francis, the first one taking place last year on Oct. 17. He has definitely shown personal openness toward LGBTQ+ Catholics. It is only by listening to the stories of these individuals and those who care for them that the Church will be able fully to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit calling the Catholic community to break out of old, ill-informed teachings and practices.

Many U.S. Catholic bishops have issued pronouncements about gender and sexuality without first consulting the people most directly concerned. Pope Francis is showing the Church a new way of developing its teaching. It is hoped that Pope Francis’s example of listening to LGBTQ+ people will inspire other Catholics to do the same.